Breaking Bad Habits

You don’t break habits by stopping, you break them by substituting. This is a standard rule in psychology.

A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. This implies that habits could be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.

Therefore if a habit is bad, it can be replaced with good and vice versa. However considering the latter is always a bad idea.

I have this thing about keeping to time. Some years ago, I was considering going to events and engagements late, since I was almost always amongst the first set of people to arrive. I often arrive before the organises of the event. It was frustrating and they called it “African timing”. Luckily a good friend was able to advice me otherwise and I still enjoy keeping to time. This is a classical example of wanting to change from a good habit to a bad one. This habit actually happens a lot- mostly when people think there are taken for granted or when they are not having there way as fast as they would want to.

However, the question before us today is: How do you break a bad habit?

Bad habits are decisions that stand against our values and principles. It is a negative behaviour pattern. Common examples include: too much time on the internet doing unproductive things, overeating, procrastination, etc.

Just because it is popular with your surroundings doesn’t make it an less a bad habit.

Steps to Breaking Bad Habits

Honesty:

This for me, is the most important ingredient in breaking bad habits. If a person is not honest about the whole process, it would be surprisingly easy to relapse. You must first and foremost accept that the habit is bad and unhealthy to your purpose and goals in life.

It cannot just be a thought or people’s opinions; you must after coming to the realization that the habit is bad, accept it and want to change for yourself.

Become your Motivation:

Breaking from bad habits must be done for you and you alone. The consequence of breaking from a bad habit affects your atmosphere, but your atmosphere must never be your sole motivation. If your environment or people around you are the reason you want to change, how sure are you that you will still want to be different when these people are no longer around, probably due to change of environment?

Having others as your sole motivation is setting yourself up for easy relapse. This explains why there are certain things you feel comfortable doing only in the absence of certain people.

Therefore, in breaking from a bad habit, do it for you as you’ll always be everywhere you go.

Identify Triggers:

Triggers are what give you permission to exist in those bad habits. By identifying these triggers, you become conscious enough to avoid them. The secret is to be observant, we all know our bad habits, notice what motivates you and the things you indulge in because they have become a pattern, it would be easy to identify.

Don’t ignore the triggers- handle them:

One of the greatest triggers in the world today is technology, and what I often do is fast them.

Fasting is an intentional act of not doing something that you regularly would have done; as in this case, fasting my phone or television.

If your trigger is junk food for instance, you dispose of it so as to tilt your cravings in another direction. If a lady’s nakedness is a trigger for lust for you, then you must avoid gatherings that permit nudity- All these procedures are just an introduction, it doesn’t stop there. The solution is never to stop a habit, you must replace them.

Substitution:

Avoiding nudity was maybe possible in the time of our parent’s parents… These days, it is all over the place: from homes to internet, to our classmates and coworkers, to the market, billboards, churches and etcetera. So therefore, as explained in step four; after you consciously avoid gathering that promote nudity like clubs, you have to train your mind as Job said in the bible not to look at a woman lustfully.

Instead of spending endless time watching movies and series which are in themselves triggers for lust, you substitute that time for something more productive like reading a book or having a healthy conversation with a friend or ensuring that the movie is suitable for all age groups.

The idea is to deal with the trigger before if has the opportunity to start.

As with any other situation, you replace the negative trigger with a positive trigger. In the junk food example, after disposing of them, the plan is not to wait for the trigger ( eg. Boredom or stress) to kick in before thinking of an alternative, the plan is to already have an alternative. As in this case, one might decide to buy fruits and keep in the house. Bad habits take consistency to build and would need consistency to rebuild with substitutes.

Accountability Partner:

It is important to be accountable to someone. This person will help keep track of your progress. They’re the ones you call when that craving for sex hits you harder than usual.

It is however necessary to understand why an accountability partner is important. This is because in a situation where you are in trouble and they’re not accessible, it is this understanding that keeps you from falling.

The common sense thing to do would be to leave the party or that your friend’s house or switch off your phones or the television or anything activating your sexual mood. Accountability partners tell us to do these things. With or without them, these are the things we must do. Reporting or hearing from accountability partners gives us a sense of responsibility.

Get Support:

Accountability partners can also act as a support system. There are certain journeys you don’t need to walk alone. You can go selecting movies together, you can go the the gym together, you can visit friends together. The idea is, they’ll help keep you in check.

Hold on:

Breaking any habit isn’t necessarily going to be easy. Giving up half way is never the solution. You must hold on despite all challenges and stay true to why you wanted to change the habit in the first place. Reward yourself from time to time, allow you accountability partners and support systems appreciate your efforts and when everything is said and done, continue working towards whom you were created to be.

Seek Professional Help:

There is no shame in this. If you have done all that you can do and those habits seem to be reoccurring, seek professional help form Doctors, Therapists, Counselors etc. These people are trained and paid for one reason and that is to give you help. Seek and accept their help.

If we must take charge of our lives, we must be in charge of our lives. This is the ultimate goal of breaking any habit that holds us back from our potentials and possibilities. Even though I have given some examples in illustrating some ideas, our habits that need change are peculiar to us, let’s leave this blog

post ready to do something about it.

Thank you, I love y’all…

Oluwatosin Olabode aka Double ST

Happiness

We live in a world where people want to be happy on your behalf and don’t really care if you are happy.

They can’t imaging you unhappy since they’re happy for you!

For this reason, the push you into things that will make them happy for you.

Note: THESE PEOPLE CARE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.  But do they really CARE ENOUGH TO KNOW IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY HAPPY.

Can They Really Change Who We Are?

The Unchanging Power of the Truth 

A Study on Matthew 27:32-61- With a Key Focus on Verse 37

09609177-aea8-41a2-9445-10a36f703bdb-1

‘… and set up over His head His accusation written, ‘this is Jesus the king of the Jews’…”-Vs 27

From our understanding of the bible, the Jews didn’t believe and still do not believe Jesus to be the King of the Jews (the Messiah). This was even the accusation labeled against Him as scripture explains it, but why wasn’t the inscription “This is Jesus who claims to be the king of the Jews”?

Yes, in so doing they tried to mock Him, but when dealing with the Truth, whether consciously or unconsciously, even your enemies cannot deny it. It is important to note that it would have made more sense if the inscription was the latter expression because; there were people who didn’t know Jesus as King, let alone as someone who claimed to be one.

Therefore, it would only be normal for them to see Jesus and know exactly what he is guilty of- Remember, the inscriptions  are placed so that people can know what your offense is; In the case of the robbers, anyone seeing them would know they were guilty of robbery, not that the claimed to have robbed. But in the case of Jesus, as the Bible tells us, the Jews did not crucify Him because ‘He claimed to be the king’ but because ‘He is the king’. With their mouth they said and wrote it, as is recorded in verse 37…

The point is this- As seen from Vs.51-54, the truth will always come out; though delayed- it can never be denied.  When people falsely accuse you, or when people try to hold you down from the truth of who you are, learn from Jesus- hold on to God and they themselves,  will be the once to affirm to the truth of who you are.

Jesus at any point could have wanted to ‘show off’ and freed Himself from them “but for the joy set before Him, He endured till the very end”. One Key truth Christ left us with from this message is that when we find ourselves in such trying times ( of whatsoever nature), whatever decision we decide to take should always remain in the will of God and in so doing, in the very presence of our accusers,  we will be liberated.

I therefore decree and declare for you today, with the name that is above all names; that in the name of Jesus, anyone that wants to deny the glory God has placed upon your life, will be the same person to promote it in Jesus name!!!

For a clearer understanding of this prayer, here’s the story of Joseph and Esther-as seen in Genesis 37-41 and Esther 2-7, respectively

Joseph had a dream, in this dream, he was to become great- he told his brothers, and immediately,  they sort on how to bring him down (The thing is this, when God is on your side, anything else anyone does will turn out to be working for your good), but ended up leading him to his promise land. What they thought for evil, God turned it around for good!

In the story of Esther, Haman wanted to rubbish Modeciah and all the people that came to town with Esther. After a proper plan on how he was to destroy them (The thing is this, when the enemy is planning to destroy you, God is at the same time planning to bless you), Haman, himself was the one who ended up promoting Modeciah.

When the enemy is done planning; God’s blessings always come. If the enemy doesn’t repent, he will fall into that trip he set for you.

Here’s the good news and the message of the cross, the enemy can repent; that is why Christ died on the cross- To Bring Forgiveness and Hope in Salvation.

 

God bless you as you walk in His footsteps…

Oluwatosin Olabode (Sst)

Passing The Blessing On,you already have it…

” So it was as they were burying a man that suddenly they spied a band of raiders and they put the man in the tomb of Elisha;and when the man was let down and touched the bones of Elisha,he revived and stood on his feet.”… 2nd kings 13:21

Here this

You have power that don’t belong to you, there are excess deposits of blessings you carry that are not meant for you.
Elisha was in the grave carrying an anointing of life that couldn’t bring him back to life but was to bring someone else back to life. Some days after his death,a man was about to be buried on him; when he fell on that anointing(God’s anointing)and woke up…
When God plans something concerning your life,nothing can stop it,not even death!!!

I know your works,see,I have set before you an open door,and no one can Shut it, for you have little strength,have kept my word,and have not denied my name.”
Revelations 3:8

Prayer

No death is going to carry away my blessings…
No thief is going to carry away my blessings..
No destroyer is going to carry away my blessings…
You see what am trying to say is-
No devil is going to carry away my blessings…

“the thief does not come expect to steal,and to kill and to destroy”…John 10:10

because all blessings have ALREADY been given to us

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,who has blessed us with every spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ”…Ephesians 1:3

just waiting for you to take yours and give to the next person the rest…

That anointing(anointing for life) was meant for that man and it took a dead man to give him(God had to use a dead man,in my next article you would see why).God has blessed you to be a blessing to someone;don’t keep it,use it to the glory of God,by fulfilling the exact purpose for which it was given thus blessing someone.
God never blesses you for you alone,He blesses you to be a blessing and only you can render that blessing.Don’t let people miss their essence of existence just because you weren’t a blessing to them(just because the key to their next stage in life,you didn’t give)like God commanded.

It’s Simple…

That man’s blessing was attached to Elisha; there is someone whose blessing is attached to you,just as yours is attached to someone else,so its only proper that you do to others as you would have others do you,because the major reason God blesses you is so you can be a blessing to someone else.

A Very Good Example Is this…
God blessed me with this inspiration,I have blessed you with this knowledge, a good thing to do will be to keep the blessing flowing and not keep it to yourself by exposing people to the various gifts and factors God has put at you disposal like:

A sincere smile to a colleague…
Words of encouragement to a friend…
Words of appreciation to that deserving person…
Giving out a book you have read…
Buying launch for someone that can’t afford it…
Paying a child’s school fees if you can afford it…
Buying cloth for that naked person on the street…
Bringing someone to the knowledge of God(winning a soul for Christ)…
Interceding for people through Prayers to God…
Using your Gifts and Talents to the glory of God…
Telling someone about this blog and other sites that will be a blessing to them…
It really is that basic,both Spiritually and physically.

“A lot of talents and gift have been buried in the grave”,don’t be part of it(now that you are still alive and when you die),remember,when Jesus was to die,He said”it is finished” (John 19:30),meaning all blessing attached to him had been given out and greater than He did has He asked us to do(John 14:12)…in one sentence,what that means is-
You have no reason not to be a blessing to someone.

NOTE!!!
– You don’t need to have everything,(like,own the whole world)before you bless someone,remember “the best things in life are not things”.Who you are and what you have is already a blessing in itself,all you have to do is make people know it. Off course, if God has blessed you with many things,then many people are thankful to God for your existence because you have the ability to bless as many as possible.

– You don’t have to go to the end of the world before you bless someone,they people you need or who need your blessing are already around you,but again if God has allowed you to travel far- then you can also be a blessing that far…

God has blessed you,if you bless others even the grave would not be able to hold down your blessing, ask the person whose life God kept in Elisha’s grave,he will tell you the same. This is not just a story,its “God’s Word and won’t return to Him void”… (isaiah 55:11)

God’s blessing upon you as you be a blessing to someone today!(Would love to hear from you,what are the simplest ways you think someone can be a blessing?)

By: Olabode oluwatosin