Today’s Guest Post is by an amazing friend and colleague- Coauthor of ‘The Big One’
So I said yes to ‘Him’…again.
The silvery rays of the moon entwined with the night breeze to birth an atmosphere of serenity, its fingers creeping into the room, filling it with much coolness. I pulled my cardigan around me and looked out of the window. I could feel his gaze on my face so much that I shuddered, but still didn’t look at him.
I couldn’t. Something in my past kept haunting me.
Years before, when we met, it was love at first sight. Though I was just in sS2 and he was way older, it didn’t matter because he made feel like a woman in every way, not the clumsy girl everyone else saw. He shared my joys, held me through pains and loved me like no other. Though he had a job and was pretty busy, he always made out time to be with me. He knew my friends and they loved him. Our love blossomed by the day and it felt like i couldn’t survive a day without him. I couldn’t imagine being without him….
Then I got into the university and everything changed.
The rigors of lectures, assignments, tests, projects and all was so overwhelming that I barely had time for myself, much less ‘US’.
Once, when I’d managed to squeeze out time to see him, he’d taken my hands in his, stared somberly at them for a while, “I love you…but I can feel you drifting away from me.” And I could hear the sadness in the depths of his
He was right because in the weeks and months that followed, we grew apart, saw each other less and talked less until we lost contact- more like I lost contact because he tried in every way to bridge the gap but I pushed him away on the premise that I was busy with my studies and didn’t want to be distracted in any way.
I walked away from him and I felt something die in me.
I got my freedom but I soon discovered it came with a price tag. I dabbled into the wrong relationships, made the wrong choices, lost my innocence, and the academics I’d been so occupied with crashed. Before long, I’d evolved into the woman I never dreamt I’d be, one so different from the one he’d made me feel like.
That was when I remembered him.
I searched for him with so much anguish, not even knowing where to go because we’d lost contact for over 4years. I searched for him where I could, asked around to no avail. I’d sit on my bed, weeping, reliving moments we shared…moments that had become mere memories buried in the sands of time.
Then one day, I heard these words from a sermon, “remember where you lost it, go back and do the works you did at first…” and it quickly struck me: There was one place I hadn’t looked! A place he’d promised to be every day, at a certain time, waiting for me. A place we’d found and held so dear because it brought us together. Our meeting place!
I ran all the way to the place, whilst hoping and praying he’d be there after all these years.
And he was there! Propped against the wall with his hands folded across his chest and his feet crossed, he looked more handsome than he was the last time I saw him, such perfect picture of tranquility that my heart melted and my feet wobbled beneath me. When he saw me, he ran to me, lifted me in his arms and spun me around with so much laughter, whilst professing his undying love for me. Then he looked into my eyes, wiped the tears and with forgiveness in his voice, he said those words I’d longed to hear all these years…” I love you.*
Now we sat across each other and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him; my past haunts me so much that I feel like a slut, yet he sat there with so much desire and love reflecting in his eyes. How could he have come here every day all these years, hoping I’d return one day? How could he have waited for me all these years…? How could he even look at me with so much love? Will things ever be the same?
“Now you’re here and that’s all that matters to me.” He said quietly, as though reading my thoughts. I finally turned to look at him. Who’s this guy??
“But the past….”
“Has been forgotten. My love is much stronger,” he said, stretching out his hands towards me.
I flew with total abandon into his waiting arms and immersed myself in the wealth of his love. I said yes to him…again.
Him? Yes, Jesus.
Wait a sec! Don’t think I’m being ‘sister Mary-ish’; it’s far from it. In life we make choices for various reasons and I’ve made mine.
I said yes to him because he’s loved me like no other and has taught my heart to love and my hands to work.
I said yes to him because he knows my weaknesses and strengthens me…and my knees to pray.
I said yes to him because he shows my feet the right path, bringing me closer to the Father.
I said yes to him because he teaches me wisdom and prudence, fills my hear with joy and lights my face with smiles, making me more beautiful.
So in the end, he’s molding me into his choice lady, a refined rib that will fit into my Adam’s ribcage, to be his helpmeet and companion, not a burden.
“I love you and I want all of you” He said.
Putting my arms around him I said, *You can have all of me…every part of me”, and I this time, I knew nothing could separate him from me.
I may not know what the future holds but I’m held by the one who knows the future!!!