The christian is not someone that tells people he is one,the christian is someone people affirm to be one;that’s how it started in the first place(Acts 11:26b…were first CALLED…). It shouldn’t change now;however,the former is A Christian,which everyone claims to be, as its only vocal,the latter is The Christian,involving character,Big Difference…
Jesus speaking in John 14:6 says, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Someone recently released a piece in which he called Jesus a liar- Established as the only explanation and so he titled it, Jesus you lied.
The challenge is that he concludes the piece inferring that God is faithful.
It is important to clarify that God cannot be both faithful and a liar. Neither can he at one moment be a liar and at another moment be faithful; as he is the same always and forever.
My approach in my piece which I titled, Jesus Never Lies is to ask questions whose answers provoke us to consider who God is to us. Whether he is a conditional being that must conform to our limited knowledge of which we frown when he doesn’t, or if he is God nonetheless.
I realise that we all go through phases in different stages of our lives, and more worthy of note is the fact that if we would be honest with ourselves; we’ve all doubted Jesus in one way or the other and He is fully aware of this. It’s human nature. What would be upsetting is pretending to be OK when we’re not, in the presence of an all knowing God. Indeed he loves our honesty as the poet clearly states out in his piece.
However, it becomes foolishness when we decide our interpretation of situations surrounding us should be the standard on how others should perceive theirs. It is even more foolish to think popularity permits compromise from a place of limited understanding.
Because we live in a generation that enjoys miracles more than the miracle working God and want fast food without any food for thought, I had to give a reply. To give another explanation- a continuation of God’s whisper.
Jesus Never Lies is a tale of reasoning and not condemnation. A reminder that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”- Roman’s 8:28.
No matter what you are going through, JESUS NEVER LIES. Hold on, he’s faithful to the end.
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God bless us all as we connect with his faithfulness. Jesus Never Lies.
You don’t break habits by stopping, you break them by substituting. This is a standard rule in psychology.
A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. This implies that habits could be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.
Therefore if a habit is bad, it can be replaced with good and vice versa. However considering the latter is always a bad idea.
I have this thing about keeping to time. Some years ago, I was considering going to events and engagements late, since I was almost always amongst the first set of people to arrive. I often arrive before the organises of the event. It was frustrating and they called it “African timing”. Luckily a good friend was able to advice me otherwise and I still enjoy keeping to time. This is a classical example of wanting to change from a good habit to a bad one. This habit actually happens a lot- mostly when people think there are taken for granted or when they are not having there way as fast as they would want to.
However, the question before us today is: How do you break a bad habit?
Bad habits are decisions that stand against our values and principles. It is a negative behaviour pattern. Common examples include: too much time on the internet doing unproductive things, overeating, procrastination, etc.
Just because it is popular with your surroundings doesn’t make it an less a bad habit.
Steps to Breaking Bad Habits
This for me, is the most important ingredient in breaking bad habits. If a person is not honest about the whole process, it would be surprisingly easy to relapse. You must first and foremost accept that the habit is bad and unhealthy to your purpose and goals in life.
It cannot just be a thought or people’s opinions; you must after coming to the realization that the habit is bad, accept it and want to change for yourself.
Become your Motivation:
Breaking from bad habits must be done for you and you alone. The consequence of breaking from a bad habit affects your atmosphere, but your atmosphere must never be your sole motivation. If your environment or people around you are the reason you want to change, how sure are you that you will still want to be different when these people are no longer around, probably due to change of environment?
Having others as your sole motivation is setting yourself up for easy relapse. This explains why there are certain things you feel comfortable doing only in the absence of certain people.
Therefore, in breaking from a bad habit, do it for you as you’ll always be everywhere you go.
Triggers are what give you permission to exist in those bad habits. By identifying these triggers, you become conscious enough to avoid them. The secret is to be observant, we all know our bad habits, notice what motivates you and the things you indulge in because they have become a pattern, it would be easy to identify.
Don’t ignore the triggers- handle them:
One of the greatest triggers in the world today is technology, and what I often do is fast them.
Fasting is an intentional act of not doing something that you regularly would have done; as in this case, fasting my phone or television.
If your trigger is junk food for instance, you dispose of it so as to tilt your cravings in another direction. If a lady’s nakedness is a trigger for lust for you, then you must avoid gatherings that permit nudity- All these procedures are just an introduction, it doesn’t stop there. The solution is never to stop a habit, you must replace them.
Avoiding nudity was maybe possible in the time of our parent’s parents… These days, it is all over the place: from homes to internet, to our classmates and coworkers, to the market, billboards, churches and etcetera. So therefore, as explained in step four; after you consciously avoid gathering that promote nudity like clubs, you have to train your mind as Job said in the bible not to look at a woman lustfully.
Instead of spending endless time watching movies and series which are in themselves triggers for lust, you substitute that time for something more productive like reading a book or having a healthy conversation with a friend or ensuring that the movie is suitable for all age groups.
The idea is to deal with the trigger before if has the opportunity to start.
As with any other situation, you replace the negative trigger with a positive trigger. In the junk food example, after disposing of them, the plan is not to wait for the trigger ( eg. Boredom or stress) to kick in before thinking of an alternative, the plan is to already have an alternative. As in this case, one might decide to buy fruits and keep in the house. Bad habits take consistency to build and would need consistency to rebuild with substitutes.
It is important to be accountable to someone. This person will help keep track of your progress. They’re the ones you call when that craving for sex hits you harder than usual.
It is however necessary to understand why an accountability partner is important. This is because in a situation where you are in trouble and they’re not accessible, it is this understanding that keeps you from falling.
The common sense thing to do would be to leave the party or that your friend’s house or switch off your phones or the television or anything activating your sexual mood. Accountability partners tell us to do these things. With or without them, these are the things we must do. Reporting or hearing from accountability partners gives us a sense of responsibility.
Accountability partners can also act as a support system. There are certain journeys you don’t need to walk alone. You can go selecting movies together, you can go the the gym together, you can visit friends together. The idea is, they’ll help keep you in check.
Breaking any habit isn’t necessarily going to be easy. Giving up half way is never the solution. You must hold on despite all challenges and stay true to why you wanted to change the habit in the first place. Reward yourself from time to time, allow you accountability partners and support systems appreciate your efforts and when everything is said and done, continue working towards whom you were created to be.
Seek Professional Help:
There is no shame in this. If you have done all that you can do and those habits seem to be reoccurring, seek professional help form Doctors, Therapists, Counselors etc. These people are trained and paid for one reason and that is to give you help. Seek and accept their help.
If we must take charge of our lives, we must be in charge of our lives. This is the ultimate goal of breaking any habit that holds us back from our potentials and possibilities. Even though I have given some examples in illustrating some ideas, our habits that need change are peculiar to us, let’s leave this blog
post ready to do something about it.
Thank you, I love y’all…
Oluwatosin Olabode aka Double ST
So I’ve been requesting and receiving questions lately. This is yet another one. Please feel free to contribute…
Who is a true friend?
Before we can fully comprehend the meaning of true friendship; we must first discern who a friend is and if their is a clause in that definition that permits for fake- Something that is not true.
This in itself will imply that we have understood the meaning of truth; to be able to identify fake.
In defining these two terms- Friend and True; we’ll be able to accurately answer the question of who a true friend is.
“This is a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family”- Dictionary.cambridge.org
This definition like any other talks about a one way relationship that should go both ways. Yes this definition applies to your friends to, but the questions is, do they consider you friends?- for then, and only then, will this definition be accurate.
A lot of people that we are friends with aren’t friends with us.
A friend is not just someone in whose life you are involved in, a friend is someone that is involved in you life- Double ST
Something that is in accordance with fact or reality. Accurate and genuine.
- True Friendship therefore entails mutual understanding, agreement, respect, growth, etcetera.The key word there is mutual. We often think “people knowing us” is synonymous with “true friendship”, but no. Answering phone calls or replying text messages doesn’t make you a friend- it just means you respond to INITIATED CONVERSATIONS from someone that considers you a friend. Friends are initiators as well as people that respond to messages (In whatsoever form). Friendship has to be MUTUAL. It is however not a competition on who does more.
- A true friend triggers the buttons that make you want to be a better person. A friend adds value to your life and vise versa. What this means is that, if there are people whom you call friends in your life and have successfully kept you stagnant or regressing, then they are not true friends and must be acknowledged as such. It is OK to know them, but not everyone needs to be your friend.
- A true friend knows the advanced setting of your life and would never judge you but will always be ready to correct and support you in love.
- True friendship is not jealous nor will it cause you to sin and vise versa.
- A true friendship is a group of people of similar attractions and connections. A people that can coexist without altering their vision, mission and core values. A people that share ideas and want to see each other grow, and would allow each other grow.
- A true friend is not someone you form a bond with so they can help you, but what kind of friendship would it be if they (or you) have the opportunity to help and withhold it.
- True friendship is real, honest and loyal.
The list goes on and on and www.google.com might be able to provide you with much more information on the idea of true friendship. What I have done is set a platform for you to ask yourself if you are a true friend. It’s not enough to want genuine friends- Are you one? Do you listen? Do you make out time for friends? Once again, Are you a true friend?
Recently I was asked two questions that I think resonates with a lot of people, and so, I want to share it with you guys- my amazing wordpress readers and subscribers. It’s on forgiveness. I hope it’s a blessing. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have.
Does God forgive a consistent sinner that constantly ask for forgiveness?
This is a deep question. I often fall guilty myself, so I can understand the frustration that comes with it. I am excited by the honesty in this question because it shows someone who is finally ready to receive help. Help that has been freely given to us all.
In answering this, the number one and most important thing to note is that God is faithful. Faithful not because of who or what we do, but because of who He is. However, the Bible says in Romans 6:1, “shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” Certainly Not. Truth is, in the context of the question above, It is easier said than done. Repeating the same thing over time becomes a habit and habits are not easily broken.
Can God forgive? I think this is a wrong question. God does not forgive, God has Forgiven already always and forever. This He did on the cross.
Hebrews 9:22 And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission (kjv).
As Christians, or in becoming Christians, we walk into this forgiveness. When we pray for forgiveness, we ask to walk into that which God has already done.
The reason why God does not want us to sin is because of what that does to us… The guilt, the shame, the lack of peace, the hurt… God does not like seeing his children broken, unsettled and unhappy.
What can a Christian do to help such a person?
To help such a person, you have to be truthful, loving and realistic in your approach.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (kjv).
Romans 5:9-10 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life (kjv).
Bad (and good) habits are built up with consistency and these bad habits must be broken down with consistency.
I do not know the specifics of the sin we are all guilty of, but if we are to stop it, it’s not an on and off situation. It has to be consistent, intentional and genuine. Then replaced with something else that is positive. It is not enough to stop doing evil, you must start doing good.
Some Pointers for Whosoever is Guilty
- Let the person accept truthfully that what he or she is doing is wrong and genuinely confess to God. Not because of guilt but because he or she loves God.
- Ask God to come into his or her life or rededicate his or her life.
- Find an accountability partner, someone he or she respects, someone that will not judge them, someone that is willing to listen to them patiently and can get achievable targets and punishments to keep them in check.
- The person might need to change friends, or whatever the trigger is. Trigger is what causes you to sin, it could be your phone, movies, what you hear, where you stay, Etc.
For example, if as a youth leader, I am sexually attracted to one of my fellowship members (female), I should never visit her without another female around, or better yet, I should alway send a female representative any time there’s an information for her.
Saying nothing will happen is the reason why a lot of things are happening currently.We must find our triggers and destroy them as we allow God to gradually renew our minds.
- Pray, Read God’s word, Surround yourself with positive and like-minded people.
These were my recommendations to the person that asked for her friend. Please feel free to add your contributions. God bless us all as we learn to forgive and receive forgiveness. Amen.
Oluwatosin Olabode aka Double ST.
I’m super excited to announce to you that you can now Pre-order my new book #Insights at your favorite online stores. Follow the link above.
I’ve got you covered whether yours is IOS or Android… We are currently on:
Barnes and Noble,
Here’s a thought on #Insights;
‘It’s a book that will appeal to all who seek to view life from different angles while seeking for solutions in handling life’s challenges and turning them into opportunities’
Here’s the link…
Let’s spread the word. Share and tag.
Tosin aka., Double ST
New Book Alert! #insights #2018 Watch this space…
Titled ‘Insights’. This book is a collection of quotes. A reminder that all things work together for our good in (and at) “all times”. The quotes run for 365 days; so as with scriptures, we live daily with a positive outlook on life.
‘It’s a book that will appeal to all who seek to view life from different angles while seeking for solutions in handling life’s challenges and turning them into opportunities’
The use of simple Language makes it a delight for the heart’.
Let’s show some love and join the author in spreading the word.
They say the problem begins when we start talking about each other instead of talking to each other.
It’s more of a problem when we start talking for each other, instead of talking with each other.
Assumptions, however right, create one-side solutions to one-side situations.
Stop assuming and ask them.